


Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Mondays

by rorywritesstuff



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Murder, Mystery, Screenplay/Script Format, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rorywritesstuff/pseuds/rorywritesstuff
Summary: Sherlock has issues about being the best.





	Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Mondays

(Sherlock, Lestrade and Watson are at a crime scene.)  
LESTRADE:  
...and so the old man appears to have had a penny dropped on him from a great height, but as you can see, he was in a room locked from the inside and the ceiling's undamaged. We're completely stumped, Mr. Holmes.  
HOLMES:  
Completely, it would seem.  
LESTRADE:  
Who do you think might have done it?  
HOLMES:  
I have an idea, but I can't tell you right now. I need to be alone.   
LESTRADE:  
Ah, Mr. Watson, let's step outside.  
HOLMES:  
Oh, sorry, by 'alone' I meant 'with Watson.' It's basically like being alone. But, if you'd be so kind, Inspector.   
LESTRADE:  
Right-ho, Mr. Holmes, I'll just be outside until you need me.  
(Lestrade steps outside.)  
WATSON:  
So, who did it, Holmes?  
HOLMES:  
Not a clue.  
WATSON:  
But you told Lestrade you had an idea.  
HOLMES:  
Yes. The idea was to pretend I knew so I'd seem smart.  
WATSON:  
But why did you send him away?  
HOLMES:  
I'm going to sit here for a while, then leave dramatically and he'll presume I'm pursuing a lead. When, in fact, I'm going to go home. When I don't turn up with a suspect, he'll just assume that I tried my best and they got away. This way my reputation remains untarnished.  
WATSON:  
That's not very fair.  
HOLMES:  
Is it fair that I'm called onto every sodding case? No. But here we are.  
WATSON:  
I think you should tell the world that you've been stumped.  
HOLMES:  
Certainly not. I'd look like a buffoon.   
WATSON:  
No, you'd look human.   
HOLMES:  
Same thing.   
WATSON:  
People need to know that even you make mistakes.   
HOLMES:  
No, people need to think I'm infallible. They need a role model.   
WATSON:  
A good role model would own what they didn't know. A good role model would let people know that no one's perfect.  
HOLMES:  
I am perfect. You take that back.   
WATSON:  
Shan't.  
HOLMES:  
Is that how you represent me in your stories? As less than perfect? For shame.   
WATSON:  
No one's perfect, Holmes. No one can solve every case.  
HOLMES:  
The image I project is one of someone who is always in complete control. It's my brand. We can't let it be sullied.   
WATSON:  
That's unrealistic.   
HOLMES:  
Reality's for lesser beings.   
WATSON:  
Just admit you don't know. You can't solve every case.  
HOLMES:  
(Muttering)  
I bet Mycrotft could solve every case.  
WATSON:  
What? Is that what this is about?  
HOLMES:  
No. I was just...making an observation. Like Mycroft would. About everything. Cos he's so damned observant.   
WATSON:  
Holmes, no one compares you to your brother.   
HOLMES:  
No one compares an eagle to the merest sparrow, but there is no doubt as to which is the superior.   
WATSON:  
And what are the rest of the populus in this analogy? Worms?  
HOLMES:  
Of course not! Sparrows notice worms.   
WATSON:  
Why is it not enough to be merely a brilliant detective? Why must you be the best?  
HOLMES:  
Because someone has to be. Eliminate the incompetent and whatever remains, however indolent, must be the best. And it's Mycroft.  
WATSON:  
What about Sherrinford?  
HOLMES:  
Merely a rumour.  
WATSON:  
And Euros?  
HOLMES:  
What?  
WATSON:  
Well, you know something Mycroft could never do?  
HOLMES:  
Touch his toes?  
WATSON:  
Admit he didn't know.  
HOLMES:  
Because he would never have to.   
WATSON:  
How can you be sure? If he could never bring himself to say it out loud?  
(Sherlock is struck by this.)  
SHERLOCK:  
So, you're saying maybe Mycroft is also stupid?  
WATSON:  
It could be.   
SHERLOCK:  
We must go prove it at once! To Baker Street!  
WATSON:  
What about the case?  
SHERLOCK:  
We'll say Moriarty did it. He hasn't been mentioned in a while.  
(They set off.)


End file.
